So for about 10 years now, I’ve had to get on a plane and travel to my clients – all of whom live in other states.  Traveling for a living has allowed me to learn a lot of things and see a lot of things that I otherwise wouldn’t have seen.

But it’s also made me kinda crabby at times.   And definitely pushier than I want to be. 

Of that, I’m not proud.  But see, it really isn’t my fault that I’m crabby and pushy…because if people would GET WITH IT then they wouldn’t force me to be crabby and pushy…but I digress…;-)

When people feel sorry for me that I travel so often, they needn’t be – I chose this AND it allows me lots of freedom and opportunities in my personal time, so I don’t feel sorry for myself. 

Unless my plane is delayed on a Friday night.  And I feel like everyone is out on a hot date but me.  But then again, I’m just crabby…didn’t we already cover this???

Again, I digress…

So, without any more chit-chat, here are Jill’s Top 5 Travel Tips!

Tip 1: When you are mad that your flight has been delayed for 8 hours and you’re coming into LAX and the baggage claim is broken, so Alaska Airlines is delivering bags to 150 people out of tiny door and 150 people are crowding around a little tiny door and a lady won’t move (even when you’ve said Excuse Me as you see your bag at the tiny door), don’t kick the lady in the leg and walk away. People frown on that kind of stuff.  Trust me.  I would know.

Tip 2: Don’t pump gas from a mom and pop gas station and assume that because you gave the guy $20, that he stopped the gas pump at that amount.  Because when you drive off and hit the interstate heading to the airport, the guy will jump in his car and chase you down the interstate going 95+ miles an hour waving a gun at you and make you pull over and give him the $2.00 your gas pump over-pumped.  Trust me.  I would know.

Tip 3: Just say a prayer right away as you hear people utter these words “Oh my gosh – I would love your job – the travel sounds so fun!”. The prayer you will pray is for restraint so you don’t punch them in the jaw.  Trust me.  I would know.

Tip 4: When you are walking through the airport in Chicago and you hear a really weird rustling sound and you keep turning around to see what it is as you’re strutting down the middle of the concourse, look down.  Because it’s a plastic grocery bag wrapped around your heel and flapping in the wind.  In the terminal.  On your personal runway.  For all to see.  Trust me.  I would know.

Tip 5: Don’t wear your headphones and listen to a live album when you’re walking at midnight from the United baggage claim to your parking spot at LAX.  Because when the applause comes at the end of the song, you’ll think it’s the noise coming from a killer behind you trying to get you and you’ll start sprinting wildly with your luggage dragging behind you and scream “Help! Stop!” before you realize it is the clapping at the end of your favorite song that you heard.  Try acting casual after THAT.  Trust me.  I would know.